how fragile we are

07 Friday Feb 2020

Posted by home, garden, life in Kobe Bryant, loss, sustainable lifestyle

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Nobody Knows (Paul Brady), Everything Comes and Goes (Down to You, Joni Mitchell), no more i love you’s (D.Freeman/J. Hughes) sung by Annie Lennox, Medusa lyrics tiptoe through my consciousness as I reflect on the tragic loss of legend, Kobe Bryant. As I listen to his many interviews, I realize that Kobe was a man with an extraordinary work ethic, who followed his passion, gave his all to the sport, and said it best here:

Rest in peace Kobe and Gianna.

During his brief retirement, Kobe revisited his artistic side and once again, his efforts were a slam dunk. Dear Basketball won an academy award in 2018 for best Animated Short Film. So much more was in the pipeline…

And in the event you did not follow Kobe’s career/life read here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant

Life and Death are one thread; the same line viewed from different sides.
Lao Tzu

Lyle ~ may your soul be free

16 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by home, garden, life in cat, death of a pet, home, loss

≈ 22 Comments

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adoption, animal advocate, CASPCA, cat, Central Virginia, how to let go, loss of a pet

This is Lyle at the shelter. Weighing in at fourteen pounds, he was a bushel of love.

This blog post is an homage to a fine, sweet, older kitty, Lyle.

Lyle was surrendered to the local CASPCA six months ago. He had been in the same home for eleven years. The owners had various reasons for letting him go, yet Lyle never really recovered from the separation. Despite daily attention from a devoted feline volunteer, Lyle remained shy, fearful, and distant, making adoption difficult in a facility filled with bouncing, adorable kittens.

It’s been nearly four years since my beloved Miss Kitty departed this life and I finally felt ready to welcome a special kitty into my heart. After filling out his paperwork on Friday, I asked Lyle if he approved. He looked me in the eyes and reached out one paw and began kneading his pillow. I took that as a YES!
Lyle was vetted on Monday, where a new heart condition was discovered. This did not dissuade me in any way. The shelter thought we were a perfect match, and with high hopes, I brought him home on Tuesday.

The ride to Swallowtail Cottage was peaceful. The sunny winter afternoon was brilliant. Lyle made eye contact with me many times from his carrier, sunlight reflecting from his soulful, golden eyes. He even seemed to enjoy the view of the passing landscape. I assured him we would have a good life together. He would have a second chance at love.

Within minutes of arrival, Lyle began choking and gasping. Numerous calls to his vet assured me this was stress related, and I should leave him to quiet. Within thirty minutes he was dead — DEAD!!

Post mortem revealed Lyle died of heart failure. A heart broken from rejection? A heart longing to be loved too long? A heart not strong enough to accept new love?

I shall never know.

The house is again quiet — in its winter mode. I wrestle with many emotions, yet have the highest respect for those dedicated shelter volunteers and skilled professionals, who have the emotional stamina to deal with rejected animals every day. To all of them, thank you. And to all who adopt from shelters and rescue facilities, hugs to you.

For those guardians who dump/discard family pets when they age, shame on you!

Today if you have the chance, please send up a little word for Lyle to finally find peace and unconditional love.

Photo of Lyle courtesy of the Charlottesville Albemarle SPCA.

life, love, and loss

08 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by home, garden, life in blessings, color, home, life, Lifestyle, loss, nature

≈ 20 Comments

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Central Virginia, color of nature, death of a friend, how nature comforts, life, loss, love, nature, November

Life and death are one thread;
the same line viewed from different sides.

~ Lao Tzu

One of my closest friends departed life this week. I still fail to grasp this fact. Facing each health challenge bravely, determined to love life unconditionally, and supported by her closest friends, she met her end on her own terms — with dignity and love. Sidelined by a freak viral bronchitis, I was not able to be at her bedside as she passed. This makes our afternoon country outing, two weeks before, even more memorable. Too soon gone!

as we find out paths in life, love intervenes and inevitable loss.

as we find our paths in life, love intervenes, and so does inevitable loss.

as I drove rural lanes yesterday, taking the slow way home, nature seemed to reach out and embrace me with breathtaking color and brilliant sky

as I rounded a curve, this maple popped to say, as my leaves depart, they wish to make your day joyful!

hues this vibrant in November are unusual indeed

then round a few more curves, I nearly drove of the road, as I gasped. In fact I turned around a few times and risked being rear-ended to get this shot

back on a wider path of road, more maples popped from between the sycamores and tulip poplars, draped with dazzling color

a pair of old persimmon trees, full of fruit, will be perfect following the first hard frost, if one braves the traffic. I imagine birds will have the best feast.

taking liberties with this shot's edits to create a painterly vista

taking liberties with this shot’s edits I created a painterly vista

nearly home, this time, an ox-blood hue catches my eye

these trees were planted by nature, not man, making the display ever more poignant

the dogwood appeared to be on fire this day

back home, the resident dogwood appeared to be on fire this day

November hydrangea never fails to deliver color

Oakleaf hydrangeas never fail to deliver saturated color during November

my landscape comforted me with much appreciated light, reflections, and memorable color. This was to be the last day before hard frost, finishing the magical displays and creating rake work in days ahead.

Life is unequalled.
Love is unparalleled.
Loss is the toll we pay to experience it all.

May your day be filled with life, your Thanksgiving filled with love, and may loss be away on holiday.

the thing about the Pentagon Memorial

29 Thursday Sep 2011

Posted by home, garden, life in loss, Pentagon Memorial, renewal, service, suggested reading

≈ 2 Comments

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Northern Virginia, Pentagon City Mall, Pentagon Memorial

Honoring the dead

one of the lost

reflections

tracks of tears

the youngest

so many

place of impact

fateful day

what is life?

08 Thursday Sep 2011

Posted by home, garden, life in life, loss, renewal, season

≈ 1 Comment

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Maymont Gardens, Richmond, VA, what is life?

…It is the flash of a firefly in the night.

It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.

It is the little shadow which runs across the grass

and loses itself in the sunset.

~Crowfoot

the thing about profound loss

08 Thursday Sep 2011

Posted by home, garden, life in cat, death of a pet, life, loss, Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

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cat, death of a pet, loss, poetry, profound loss

Thursday of this week, I had no options for my beloved kitty of the past eleven years. Sometime last year a silent cancer (fibrosarcoma) manifested in her mouth and only eight weeks ago, did she show visible symptoms.

Miss Kitty had the heart of a lion, and persevered during her last two weeks with the aid of opiates and in-home vet care. With the ultimate responsibility resting on my shoulders, decisions weighed heavily. Our last ten days together were spent doing all Miss Kitty’s favorite things-sunbathing in the newly mowed grass, hiding amongst the tall patch of tiger lilies, playing hide and seek, presenting her toy mouse to me many times per day, and quality naps on the heating pad. Even her appetite improved the final week, making my choice even more difficult.

quality nap time during happier days

With steady hand, we traveled to our vet for a sedated exam and a possible dentistry. My hopes were high, as recovery had not yet been ruled out. Fate quickly intervened as her vet showed me an image of her upper gum line, an image too gruesome for words. Extraordinary surgery was offered, yet with no chance of a full recovery, and painful post-op, we mutually decided euthanasia was the kindest alternative.

my best friend and editor…Miss Kitty

My final words were spoken to my love, companion, my angel, my muse as the fatal dose was administered and she peacefully slipped away. Carefully wrapped in a towel placed in her favorite bed, we returned home. Saying my final goodbye before closing the box was not as difficult as returning to the house alone, now devoid of my significant other. Working from home this past decade allowed the opportunity for us to fully bond with connections that ran deep. I wanted to run and never return.

Miss Kitty will be privately cremated and return home to rest in a soapstone urn, carved with Celtic symbols, given to us by her godmother.

Friday I could not speak without sobbing and wailing, and could find no comfort in daily life. Finally, a phone call from a blessed friend assured me that “gratitude is greater than grief” and Miss Kitty’s message to me was to think of her as a “voluptuous being” who chose me (“Damn right, I did!”) and to know that beneath the horrible pain of loss rests the eternal love we shared for over a decade.

“Sweet is the breath of vernal shower.
The bee’s collected treasures sweet.
Sweet music’s melting fall, but sweeter yet:
The still small voice of gratitude.”
~Thomas Gray